Famous People With No Talent - Starring Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is the obvious choice as far as famous people with no talent, but she is hardly the only one. We’ll save their names and lack of talents for a later date.

So how does someone with no talent - Paris Hilton - earn over 7 million dollars a year?

When Donald Trump was asked what his opinion of Paris Hilton was, he smiled. Then during his long pause, obviously re-writing the answer in his head, Mr. Trump confidently answered that she was brilliant. The ability to brand herself as a product is a talent, according to Mr. Trump, and I am not here to disagree - even if that brand is characterized by a low IQ and a depth of shallowness. There is no questioning the effectiveness of her branding.

Someone’s ability to brand themselves is not enough by itself to drive one’s earnings into the seven plus million a year category. It helps to be an heir to a multi billion dollar empire and to have access to virtually every influential ear on the planet. Still, she’s earning her own money. She has built on what she has been given. It is easy to say that “I could have done that too if I was born with that silver spoon,” but in reality our own ability in that situation is all conjecture.

So what did she do right? Prior to her sex tape in 2003, One Night in Paris, she was known almost exclusively for being a socialite. That is not a bad ‘job’ if you ask me. She was also a minor player in the modeling world, possibly on her way up - but even the biggest models don’t come close to Paris and her name recognition.

Let’s go back to One Night in Paris, as I think it is the foundation, even more so than the family that she was born into.

The old saying is that there is no such thing as bad publicity. Does anyone at this point care that she was in a sex tape? The idea is that at some point in time the headline fades, but the name of the guilty remains ingrained.

After One Night in Paris was released you couldn’t touch any form of media that wasn’t exploiting the story. Paris entirely saturated the market. Even the Hilton’s couldn’t afford the publicity she gained from that adventure.

Paris Hilton was born of One Night in Paris. Nobody has forgotten, but nobody cares. It is not the first thing on anyone’s mind when they hear her name today, although “ditz” is probably not far from the top of the list. And her tape just fits into that ditz category.

So why has Paris Hilton exploded onto the market, while with another famous person with no talent, Traci Lords, has been unable to escape her past as an under aged porn star with her own massive amounts of free publicity? Traci Lords has since been in dozens of legitimate movies, she has released a record - as has Paris, she wrote a book - again - as has Paris, and she has even tried her hand at directing.

Why does Paris Hilton make over seven million a year, while Traci Lords is lucky if she can earn a fraction of that?

I will not argue the family ties, but I think that there is some truth to what Mr. Trump has said about her. Branding is a talent - a talent that Traci Lords does not have. Picasso’s father taught him how to paint, and Paris Hilton’s parents taught her the important of a good publicist. Paris Hilton knows what she is and she embraces is it. She has placed many adventures between herself and One Night in Paris, most notably The Simple Life.

In The Simple Life you watch her and her degenerate friend reveal how truly dumb and naïve they are. After watching a few episodes (sorry, but yes - I did see a few episodes) you start to feel sorry for her and how much of a ditz she really is. When you think of One Night in Paris you start to think, “Oh, that poor girl. It’s like taking candy from a baby.” Is it an accident that I think that and dismiss the sex tape? (Not that I personally care, but her family has a reputation.)

Paris Hilton’s friend also revealed (branded) herself. Notice how her career went the opposite direction - down.

The fact is that reality shows are staged. Paris, or at least her manager, was aware of how she was coming across. Even when something is staged, personality is going to bleed through, but… Paris bought a cow to save it from the meat truck. We’re sitting at home, laughing at how dumb we think she is, yet we are all being played like a violin. Her past is no longer relevant to her future.

She picked the perfect brand. It is the “you can do no wrong” brand. Anything she does can easily be dismissed as part of her stupidity. Even when she was on the David Letterman show where he mocked her for ten minutes. All the jokes at her expense - and seemingly over her head - re-enforced her brand and attract millions of Youtube clicks, adding to the free marketing.

She even got a side kick dog for the show.

Where does that leave us?

If you are fearless in your stupidity, you can do anything. As they quote on America‘s got Talent, “own your performance.”